


Memory: Monster and Angel

by MissingPrincessofSweden



Series: Remember [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-17 14:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1390546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissingPrincessofSweden/pseuds/MissingPrincessofSweden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took a year for Angel to rebuild her life after forgetting all her past, but everything she has is soon destroyed by one man.<br/>Everything has changed yet Angel doesn't realize. Can questions be answered before the Monster takes what was always his?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It was now or never. Conflicted between head or heart, her head forced her legs faster, running and running and running and never stopping once. 

Her lungs and heart were pounding against her chest as her throat tightened and droplets of fatigued sweat fell down her temples, but her head did not allow her to stop or even look back at what she was escaping from. She would die if she saw what was there. However, the temptation that her heart was offering her was strong, “Turn back.” It whispered “This is your home now. With him, as queen. There is nothing left for you from where you came.” She should have left her heart behind her for it had turned as crazy as him. Crazy for him. She was getting closer and closer to the rainbow gateway; she had learnt the secret to unlocking it herself, but the key to it would cost her greatly, yet she was willing to make such a sacrifice if it meant he could see what monster he had become.

A fierce roar boomed and echoed in the sky, startling her to a standstill. He knew, but she was already at the gateway and though her heart was begging to return and the anxiety was unbearable, it was too late. Tears and sweat drenched her pale face; violent sobs shook her weak frame. Her aching feet were bare and dirty; slashed from running so fast that they were bleeding, her long auburn hair had was whipped into a tangled messed and all the joy and light she had known had faded, even the shine of her flowing dress had dimmed due to her pain. The only brightness was a gold band on her left finger, embedded with a cluster of green and silver gems, like an eye.

In a blur of despair, desire and desperation, she ripped the band of her finger, threw to the ground and screamed to the heavens. “Everything I've known here! Everything I’ve had, felt and wanted, I wish to lose! I want to forget everything! Just take me back. Stop my pain!”

Lightning struck her in all directions, electricity set fire to her soul as it searched her. White. All she saw was white. Another bolt of lightning threw her backwards and she screamed in agony. She was falling down and down, stars and colours shot threw her. Her mind burned and was ripped apart into a million pieces. Flashes of memory dance in front of her eyes but just as quickly dissolved again. Her wish came true, she was forgetting. One last memory floated tantalizingly, the most beautiful and painful. Trying to hold onto it but failing as it slipped from her grasp, one last whisper one uttered on her lips.

“Farewell. My angel.”


	2. Chapter 1

Like in all her dreams, Angel couldn’t see his face, only a lean and dark silhouette. His voice when he spoke was unclear, all the words seemed blurred together, yet the sound she heard had a quiet husk like a lullaby.

But when the shadow screamed, Angel found it unbearable, the sound was a million broken hearts being tortured even further, flooded with despair and grief.   
Angel had seen this man in her dreams since she woke up in a German hospital a year ago. She had seen this silhouette go through hell and worse and it always was frustrating that she couldn’t speak or help him, let alone see his face.

The dream in her head now however, was different. 

The shadow had changed from someone with such deep pain into a cold-blooded warrior; it took a while for Angel to realize that it was indeed the same silhouette she had journeyed with for a year; it had changed that much. This time she could hear him as clear as a bell, but his voice was no longer soothing or screaming, it spat out fierceness and dominance and sounded rough, and this time, the shadow talked to her.

“I know that you have followed me. You were never the one to be subtle my dear.”

“Who are you?” 

“Everything you have wanted...and now more.”

The figure turned slowly and for the first time Angel saw his face. 

“Haven’t I grown? Before I was pathetic, too sentimental and lacked strength. Now... now I’m a man, the king you needed to rule beside you, the one that will make you stay. Forever.” He snarled.

His green eyes burnt her. Angel’s heart shook while her head was flooded with confusion.

“We shall get what was always ours. Together, we shall avenge our losses. You shall never run far from me again. My Angel.” The green eyed warrior strolled closer and closer to her until he was less than a foot in front of her. He was the tallest person Angel had ever seen and since she was quite small herself, he was able to lean over her with a hungry expression on his face that made Angel feel uneasy. 

“You’re not real.” Angel said as brave as she could, which wasn’t very brave at all.

“On the contrary my dear, I am real. And always will be.” His mouth twisted into an unwelcoming smile.”You can pretend that you have nothing to do with me, yet your fears and longing for me will always betray you. Just like you did me.”

“What are you talking about?” Angel whimpered.

“You pretend to not remember what wrong you did me, but look at how you tremble for fear of my vengeance upon you. I have brought you to your knees.” 

Angel looked down at herself and saw that she was clutching onto his pale wrists, she quickly let go, only to allow the smirking man to suddenly lock his arms around small frame like a snake. His red lips bent towards her ear, caressing it with his possessive breath. “You are mine. I have broken and bent you into who you are. Try to have nothing to do with me, try to forget the way I stroked you, how you trembled and squirmed underneath me as you screamed my name into the twisted sheets!”

Angel tried to free herself but the warrior’s arms only squeezed her tighter to his long body.

“I’m coming for you, my angel, and when I get you, when I do what I have to do, you will see that it is all for you. You will never escape.”

Angel jerked awake and shot up in bed. Sweat dotted her forehead and her hands shook like an earthquake. Her heart was rattling in her chest. “It was just a dream.” She whispered into the darkness, which suddenly seemed a lot more comforting then before.

Knowing that her nightmare would continue if she closed her eyes, Angel forced herself out of bed, turned a light on and proceeded to take a book out of one of the shelves in her room. Angel had discovered a fondness of books since she woke from hospital, it was how she learnt things and she preferred to live in a book rather than in the real world. Her world was still being rebuilt.

Angel couldn’t remember anything before the German hospital. Who she was, where she came from, even how she lost her memory, had all disappeared from her mind. In fact the only thing she could remember was one word: Angel, thus she was called.

One German doctor, Anton Amsel, specialised in amnesia patients and Angel was indeed a special case. For one she was English and spoke no German, had no family and no one knew her, and lastly no one had any idea of how she lost her memory. Angel was mysteriously found in a heap on the outskirts of Stuttgart, Her feet were badly bleeding and she was wearing a rather fancy dress. 

Dr. Amsel’s heart sank when he first met the girl. She was no older than 19 and had no idea what was going on around her, fortunately Dr. Amsel was fluent in many languages, including English, and was soon a person Angel began to trust. In hospital, Angel was brought up to date about the world and even taught some German by Dr. Amsel. Over a few months, a strong bond had grown between the Anton and Angel, so strong in fact that when Angel was able to leave the hospital, Dr Amsel had adopted her as his daughter.

Angel was rather dependant on her adopted Father, he was the only one she trusted and he had taught her nearly everything she knew, but she was slowly coming into her own. At this moment in time she was happy, it was her and her Father against the world, having amnesia didn’t bother her in the slightest...until now. 

“Angel?”

She looked up from her book to see her Father standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing up so late?” The kind man asked.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Angel muttered.

“Dreams again?”

Angel nodded, thinking about her latest dream made her shiver with fear and tears fill her eyes. She dropped the book in her hand and threw her arms around her adopted Father’s waist.

“Shhh. Mein leibling.” He whispered, stroking her back comfortingly. “It was all just a dream.”

“It seemed so real though.” Angel whimpered into her Father’s shoulder.

“They always are, but we must not ponder on them for too long, otherwise they distract us from the present.” His wise words brought her head up to look at him and wipe away her tears.

“Ok.”

“That’s my girl. Anyway, you have much to be excited about tomorrow.” The Doctor smiled.

“What’s happening tomorrow?” Angel asked quietly.

“Remember that I told you about that gala. At the museum?”

 

“Oh yes. You’re been invited to speak for it.” Angel realized.

“Do you know what you are going to wear yet?” 

“I was thinking... that dress I was found in.” Angel said.

“Are you sure?” Her Father asked with a concerned tone.

“Yes, I don’t know why I want to wear it? I just think it’s pretty.” She said in a slight childlike manner that made Dr. Amsel chuckle.

“Make sure you get enough sleep. I am glad that you are coming with me Angel.” And with a kiss to her forehead, he turned and left the room.

Angel was again alone with her thoughts. Her heart pounded against her rib cage at the thought of the green-eyed warrior, his lingering voice rattled in her ear, she was filled with terror at his words and how he invaded her space as if it was nothing. The worst thing was he seemed like a missing piece in the jigsaw of her memories.

Angel lay back down in bed and her thoughts soon closed her heavy eyelids, bringing her a dreamless slumber.


	3. Chapter 2

Angel clutched nervously onto Dr Amsel’s arm as the pair flowed through groups of chatting, laughing, drinking guests at the museum’s gala.

Dr Amsel, as it turned out, was a well-known and respected person who everyone was desperate to speak to. As he spoke to many guests about things that were beyond Angel’s understanding, the girl stood awkwardly behind him and fidgeted anxiously.

She found it hard to talk to people, if one word was spoken to her ears she would either, reply awkwardly or just freeze with shock. Angel gazed around the golden hall with apprehension. She wished to be back in her room full of comfort and books, where her and her imagination could run away together. Here she was being eaten by meekness.

Angel quickly muttered where she was going in her Father’s ear and made a temporary escape to the ladies room.

Luckily it was empty and Angel was once at peace with her troubled thoughts, the shadow of her dream had invaded her thoughts all day, yet she tried to do as her Father said and not ponder on it too much. 

At least she felt calm enough to think. For the first time in a while, Angel took a good look at her reflection in the shiny mirror opposite her. She had some make-up on, making her look elegant and almost refined. Her long hair, which reached down to the bottom of her spine like a waterfall, was curled into bouncy ringlets, embedded in her shiny locks was a silver bejewelled hair pin in the shape of a crescent moon. The pretty dress she was found in looked like something out of a fairy story. It was a bronze- gold, with swirly silver embroidery, cut off on the shoulder.

Angel soon became less anxious, but still terribly nervous about going back to the party, but her Father wanted her here and she wanted to make him happy, even if it caused her discomfort. 

The girl crept out of the restroom, just in time to find that people were gathering around Dr Amsel, who was stood near a microphone and already talking.  
Angel lifted her layers of skirt and nimbly shuffled into the midsts of the huddled guests. Dr Amsel still spotted her and chastised her with a smile and a wink. Angel listened to her Father detailed vocabulary which, in her slight childlike mind, was rather difficult to understand, but a wide smile rested on her lips at listening to Father’s cleverness. She wished she was as wise.

A blur of black and green, even a small hint of blue, appeared and vanished in the corner of the girl’s eyes. In confusion, Angel turned to where the blur was, only to see an empty balcony. She tried to shake it off, yet her heart was refusing to keep quiet, almost as if it was warning her. She began to burn under a strange invisible pressure that made her feel like she was suffocating.  
Angel was so deep inside herself that she was trembling with shock when a man was suddenly knocked to the ground with a loud wack. The crowd stifled a turned in fear at the intruder who caused this disruption. Angel grew stiff as terror electrocuted her small frame. Her nightmare was true... he had found her... but how? He wasn’t real, surely?

Angel thoughts were soon proved terribly wrong.

The shadow from her dreams stalked over to her Father, grabbed the older man roughly by the scruff of his neck. Angel shot forward in horror, screaming for her Father, but as arms held her back she could do nothing, not even her desperate screams could stop the raven haired intruder from dragging her Father to the middle of the room, flipping him violently over the marble table, landing on his back with an echoing smack.

Angel’s screams were ripped ferociously from her throat as she struggled to pull free from the stranger’s arms that were tackling her to the ground.  
The intruder proceeded to take a strange device out of his blazer pocket that quickly glowed blue and began to spin. The man mercilessly stabbed the device into the old man’s eye socket.

“NOOO!” Her only hope and shelter was destroyed. Tears streamed down the poor girl’s white face, denying that her Father had just been slaughtered by a figment of her insanity.

Screaming guests ran for their lives and Angel was abandoned on the floor as violent heart-wrenching sobs shook her like an earthquake. In the midst of all the chaos, a pale hand held her wrist tight and lifted her onto her feet.

Angel’s shattered mind was brought back into the present when icy fingertips lingered on her face. Angel’s eyes grew wide with horror.  
“Why do you weep? Are you not pleased for us to be reunited once more?” Said the green-eyed murderer with a mocking smirk, looking pleased to have ruined the life of an already-broken girl. 

Angel made a desperate dash to escape but the killer’s grip on her wrist held her in place and soon dragged her behind him in the direction of the fleeing guests. Angel struggled under the murderer’s grip, she didn’t care if she broke her arm, but all her efforts were useless. The man’s attire started to glow and transform into foreign armour, on his head glowed a tall horned helmet, so sharp that Angel thought she would get cut by just looking at it. In the man’s hand, a deadly looking staff appeared, embedded with an alien blue crystal. 

The Armoured man was unfazed by Angel’s weak attempt of clawing free and continued to stroll calmly through the chaos. A police siren drew nearer and nearer the warrior and his captive, without a moment’s hesitation, the warrior raised his golden staff, causing a blue laser-light to blast through the air and flipping the car over and landing with a crash behind them.

“Kneel before me.” A voice echoed. Clones of the Warrior appeared suddenly, blocking people’s way of escape. More chaos!

“I said. KNEEEL!”

The crowd fearfully obeyed and sunk down cowardly. Still holding her by the wrist painfully, the warrior yanked Angel forward to look at him. “They kneel for you, my queen. Just as I always promised.” 

What? For her? Before Angel could comprehend what he said, the warrior let go of her sore wrist and stepped through the kneeling crowd with dark confidence.

“Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation.”

Angel took this opportunity to turn and creep away, but not even a step was taken before Angel came face to face with an exact copy of the warrior, stopping her in her tracks.

“The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power. For identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.” 

“Not to men like you.” The defiant voice came from an old German gentleman, standing alone.

“There are no men like me.”

“There are always men like you.” 

“Look towards your elder people. Let him be an example.” The warrior raised his golden staff and shot a blue burning laser at the defenceless man, but in the blink of an eye, a mash of blue, red and white fell from the sky, deflecting the laser back to knock the warrior to the ground.

“You know the last time I was in Germany, and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing.” Said an oddly dressed man who now stood there proudly, holding a circular shield.

“The soldier!” The warrior stated, slowly standing back up.”The man out of time.”

“I’m not the one who’s out of time.”

“LOKI. DROP THE WEAPON AND STAND DOWN.” A voice boomed from the sky as a strange aircraft mysteriously appeared. Instead of doing what the voice asked however, the warrior for a third time blasted a blue laser at the aircraft that narrowly avoided it.

Chaos seemed to erupt once more. The fearsome clones vanished, allowing the terrified citizens to flee. Angel followed suit and sprinted away.

The girl’s shoes let go of her feet and her neat hair was tousled in the wind as she sped back to the tragic scene that soon lay before her.

Angel’s praying, hoping and wishing was now meaningless. The once alive man now lay still on the cold marble slab; the right side of his face was gushing red with blood as it oozed out of the twisted mangled flesh of his eye socket and dripped onto the marble.

Angel was near gagging at the gruesome sight. Grief filled her despairing heart as her shaking hands clutched onto her Father’s jacket in denial. Her never ending tears splashed onto the still body.

“Wake up.” She whispered, shaking the man gently. “Please!” Her desperate cry echoed. All her comfort and shelter was gone. Nothing could bring it back.

“Don’t leave me alone.”

A light touch on the sobbing girl’s shoulder pulled her from her isolated grief.

“It’s ok. No one is going to hurt you.” An expressionless red-haired woman now stood before Angel. Serious and firm. 

“I’m afraid you are going to have to come with us.”

“What have I done?” Angel panicked through her tears.

“Nothing Miss Amsel. We just need to take a few questions.” The woman reassured.

Angel turned back to her Father, hyperventilating violently as tears continued to stream down her face.

“We’ll take care of the body.” The woman said as she draped a thin blanket over the girl’s shaking shoulders. Angel let herself be pulled away, after she whispered a quite goodbye and planted one last kiss onto her Father’s clean cheek. 

Only a few moments ago was she smiling with her Father, now she was alone in the world, being lead by strangers into an aircraft and seated opposite the figment of her mind that caused all this to happen, ruined all she had.

Nothing would be the same...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May be slow to update this story because exams are coming up! But please let me know if you like this story so far to encourage me to update it faster.


	4. Chapter 3

Flying in an aircraft full of strangers wasn't easy; especially having the heavy glare of a murderer press against your skin. Too much had happened in less than an hour for Angel's childlike understanding, that her mind isolated its self from the world. Drifting away from an empty shell like a boat on the sea.

Frozen in her own world, memories came and went from Angel's murky vision, one year of difficult yet happy memories, were suddenly darkened when the ugly truth hit Angel like a wall: 

He was always there.

He had always been there, watching her like a predator, just like she had seen him in her dreams, waiting for a chance to strike. Flicking through her mind, this was obvious. How and why he was there? Angel didn't know, but he always had been.

But why? He was a stranger; she didn't even know his name. So why on earth had this villain been stalking her broken mind? Unless...

BOOM! FLASH! 

Angel's distant mind shot back into her head at the sudden stormy sound - disregarding all previous thoughts.

"What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?" The oddly dressed man directed at the prisoner

"I'm not overly fond of what follows." The warrior retorted.

The air craft suddenly shook violently as something hit the top of it, sending vibrations through the hard metal. Another man dressed in a red and gold robotic suit (That Angel just realized was there.) put on a matching helmet and pressed a button that flew open the aircraft doors; sending a whoosh of chilled wind inside and allowing a giant man with long blond hair to storm in.

The robotic man defensively aimed his hand at the blond intruder, which Angel guessed was a gun by how it lit up and began making noises, but before he could shoot, the blond intruder knocked the robotic man down with the huge metal hammer he was holding. In a blink of an eye, the blond giant grabbed the prisoner roughly by the neck and flew off the aircraft, leaving the poor girl dumbfounded.

Panic filled the air.

"And now there's that guy!"

"Another Asgardian?"

"That guys a friendly?"

"Doesn't matter." The robotic man stepped closer to the open doors. "If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract's lost."

"Stark we need a plan of attack!" The oddly dressed man stressed

"I have a plan. Attack." And with a burst of flame, the robotic man shot off the aircraft.

"I'd sit this one out Cap." The red-haired woman directed to the oddly dressed man, who was now strapping a parachute onto his back.

"I don't see how I can."

"These guys come from legend there basically gods."

"There's only one God mam. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that." And with grabbing his shield, the man was the fourth person to jump off the plane.

Angel was flooded with confusion - what just happened was beyond her understanding, everything was. The agitated girl felt like Alice in Wonderland: nothing made sense, but instead of being there no logic and proportion, mad hatter's and white rabbit's, there was instead too much of that. Was everyone around her mad? Was she?  
...Or was her reality just different from theirs?

"Stop pondering" Angel scolded in her mind. "Remember what *Vater said, it distracts you from the present."

"You OK back there?" The red-haired woman crashed Angel's train of thinking.

"Who are you?" Angel asked meekly.

"Agent Romanoff." The woman replied, turning from Angel to press a few buttons.

"Who are you people?" She pressed.

"We're S.H.I.E.L.D."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Soon, "S.H.I.E.L.D" regained their prisoner and an extra passenger, so the uncomfortable journey continued. Not only was the warrior's heavy green stare prickling Angel's skin through the blanket she had wrapped around herself, but the Blond giant with the hammer had also taken up the art of making her uncomfortable, pinning down the cloud that was her mind to stop it drifting away.

The aircraft finally landed; where? Angel hadn't a clue, but the girl found herself exiting the aircraft to be on another - one hundreds of times as large! Nothing like she had read or seen in the books she devoured.

"It's the hellicarrier." Agent Romanoff whispered to Angel, sensing her confusion about where she was.

With the Agent's hand on her back, Angel was lead away inside the enormous airship, down curious corridors and into a small room, furnished with a metal desk with two chairs to match and standing there another man, but unlike the other men Angel had met tonight, this one was less intimidating.

"Thank you Agent Romanoff, I can take it from here."

The Agent exited, closing the door with a quiet slam.

"Hello Miss Amsel. I'm Agent Coulson." The man said with a small smile. "Take a seat." He gestured to the chair at the desk and then moved to sit on the opposite chair, the cold desk separating the two persons.

"It's alright. You're not in any trouble whatsoever; we just need to ask a few questions." Agent Coulson calmly said.

Angel nodded.

"I know that these last few hours have been difficult for you and you're probably traumatized by these last few events but I need you to answer these questions as best you can."

Angel nodded.

The man proceeded to open and look at the grey file in front of him. "I understand that you have suffered from amnesia for nearly a year."

Angel nodded.

"It states here you were found on the outskirts of Stuttgart, in a coma for three weeks and suffered a miscarriage during the time you were un-

"Miscarriage?" Angel blurted out in shock.

"That's what it says here." Agent Coulson said handing the file to the girl, who snatched it quickly and began flicking through. "This is all the information we were able to retract about you."

"But...t-this can't be right." Angel searched for a clue to tell her that this information wasn't true - no use. The file was definitely hers. But this couldn't be right! To have a miscarriage she would have to be... but she'd never even... how did she not know this?

"You have never received information about having a miscarriage while unconscious?" Agent Coulson questioned.

Angel shook her head.

"Your adoptive father never told you? Or any other doctors?"

Angel shook her head. "Why didn't he?" She muttered, mostly to herself.

"Sounds like he was trying to protect you. Worried about how you would react to the truth. You had already suffered enough beforehand." Agent Coulson reasoned.   
"After all, we don't know anymore about you than you know of you. Which brings us on to the next thing?" The man took the file from the girl's hands and placed it on the table.

"What happened with Loki tonight?" He said gently.

"Loki?"

"The Asgardian? The one we arrested?" The warrior!

"Oh. I-I don't know. He-he just grabbed me... he killed my-"The girl's eyes were flooding with salty tears at the memory. "Everyone ran away, and I was left and he grabbed me by the wrist. Hard. I-it hurt." Angel looked down at the same wrist: red and raw.

"Then he pulled me to where everyone was running to. He multiplied himself into copies to stop the people from escaping and made everyone kneel. I didn't want to be there, I-I tried to escape bu-"

"It's alright." The man soothed the crying panicked girl.

Angel was struggling to breathe through her sobs, but forced herself to continue. "One person didn't kneel though, and L-Loki, he shot a blue laser from his staff at the person, but then the man with the round shield came and the copies of Loki disappeared and I ran back to where *Vater was."

"Is that why you don't have any shoes on?" Agent Coulson asked looking under the table at her bare feet.

"They fell off." Angel remarked.

The man giggled slightly and looked back up at Angel.  
"Did Loki say anything to you?"

"Well... yes." Angel frowned thinking about the warrior's words.

"What did he say?"

"He... he spoke to me... as if he knew who I was. He called me his queen."

"Have you met him before? Any memory of him?"

"Well... he has been in my... dreams." Angel almost whispered.

"You've dreamt of him?"

"I... yes. But I have no idea who he is, I have no idea how he knows me, I don't know why he is even h-"

"It's alright Miss Amsel." Agent Coulson soothed the panicked girl once more. "You've been through a lot tonight. You answered enough questions for now." The man stood up from the desk clutching the grey file. "I will show you to your sleeping quarters."

With a light hand to her elbow, the Agent led Angel through more twisting corridors that were never ending, until he led her to a door.

"Here we are. I hope that it won't be too bad for you." Agent Coulson said kindly, the sort of kindness that was familiar to Angel, but hurt to remember it.

Like a gentlemen, The Agent opened the door and gestured Angel inside.

"Don't hesitate to shout if you have a problem." The man said before turning to walk away.

"Mr Coulson." Angel called.

"Yes Miss Amsel?"

"How do you know all these things, about me, about everything?"

"We're S.H.I.E.L.D. It's our job to know." And with that, the Agent turned a walked away.

Angel close the grey door to her sleeping quarters, now left alone with her troubled mind. The room was decent, but very grey. A simple bed with a metal frame, a chair and a door that led way to a small bathroom, also filled with the uncomforting grey. Angel sat on the springy mattress, isolating her mind once more.

Her hand lightly touched her stomach and she felt a mother's pain; her heart grew heavy with grief for her child that never lived, for her adoptive Father that was snatched from her brutally and for herself. Angel was all alone in the world now, fighting for what little she had left.

S.H.I.E.L.D may have answers, but a tonne of questions was now resting on the girl's head - ones that she would never be able to answer alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Father


	5. Chapter 5

After an uneasy three hour sleep, Angel decided that dozing off wouldn’t help her, especially since every time she closed her eyes, He crawled into her head.

The girl sat up and swivelled her body so her feet touched the floor. Her muscles ached as she stretched her arms and her bare feet were so frozen that her toes lost feeling. The sombre girl stood slowly and stumbled over to the grey bathroom door- a shower was a good idea for someone who had been wearing, running and sleeping in a grand ball dress for quite a few hours.

Apart from a shower, toilet and sink, nothing else in the room resembled a bathroom. The walls and the floor were exactly the same as the bedroom – grey.  
Angel’s eye had turned to the small simple mirror; how different she looked from before. The golden dressed had dimmed and creases began to show on the material. Angel’s neat curls had turned into an auburn birds nest, matted with hairspray; her face was a sorry sight: pale cheeks, bloodshot eyes and smudged eye make-up donned her face.

Not wanting to stare at her reflection any longer, Angel turned to the shower. Once stripping out of her dress and underwear, she stepped under the shower head and hesitantly pressed a button that sent welcoming warm water to splash onto her body. Conveniently placed on the side was shampoo and body wash, however no conditioner- Angel would just have to do without.

After a long while of detangling hair with her fingers, the girl stepped out of the comforting shower, dried herself with a scratchy towel and redressed herself in the ball gown since she had nothing else and was too shy to ask for anything. Being done with everything in the bathroom, Angel proceeded to the bedroom and out of curiosity, poked her head outside her quarters.

“Lady Perdita!” Angel turned in shock to see the blond giant coming towards her in the corridor.

“It is wonderful to see you safe, but in quite unfortunate circumstances.” The Giant bellowed in a friendly manner. The girl just stood there, unsure of how to react to this tall stranger- even taller than her Father’s murderer- yet her confused expression didn’t deter the giant from continuing his conversation with her.

“I must apologize for not conversing with you earlier. You looked rather distraught so I thought it best to let you alone for a while.” The giant smiled.

“I’m sorry. Have we met?” Angel asked, almost shamefully. 

“Perdita, you do remember me do you not?” 

“Perdita?”

“Yes. That is your name. Don’t tell me that you have forgotten.” The giant was in disbelief.

“You must have mistaken me for someone else. My name’s Angel, not Perdita, though it is quite a pretty name.” Angel said with childlikeness.

“You truly do not remember anything? Do you not remember Asgard? Loki? Me?” The giant asked, slowly growing in desperation.

“Asgard? What’s Asgard?” Angel decided that she would probably learn nothing by asking questions since everything this man had said made no sense so far. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know you.”

The giant stood back and studied the small girl, his eyes full of calculations until he seemed to have found an answer and realization slowly hit his features. “So you have no memory of your life before now?”

“I lost it a year ago.” Angel explained.

“Ahh...so that is what you sacrificed.”

“Sacrificed?” This stranger was making less and less sense.

“It is not my place to tell you.” The giant bowed his blond head to the girl, with a look of pity, and began to turn away but was caught by a gentle hand on his arm.

“Do you know who I am?” Angel asked with wide eyes pouring into the giant’s, who replied with a nod.

Angel’s curiosity grew. “Well... who am I?”

The giant hesitated. “You are Perdita of Midgard. You lived in Asgard for quite a while as a companion to my Mother, Frigga.”

“Were we friends?” Angel asked expectantly.

“Well... I hope we can be now.” The giant said with a kind smile.

“You didn’t like me?”

“On the contrary, you were quite something in Asgard. No, it was you who had no tolerance of me.” A bellowing laugh escaped his lips. “Every time I tried to converse with, you would call me arrogant, stupid, lazy, and in your own words a “douche bag” and at any opportunity you would try to hit me.”

“Oh my - I’m so terribly sorry.”

“Don’t be, it was all rather entertaining. But all the things you said about me were true, I only now realize this. Anyhow, your frankness is certainly what caught Loki’s attention.”

The warrior.

“Who-who is he? Loki, I mean.” Asked Angel hesitantly. The blond giant’s fading smile told her that this was information that she may not want to know, even her own heart was beating out a warning though she didn’t understand why. She would only understand if she knew who this Loki was. It was all she could do at this moment.

“He is my brother; he was also very dear to you as well. Yet I fear that because has changed so much it will be harder to reach out to him.” The giants eyes filled with grief, Angel wondered if he knew what had happened to his brother to make him change so radically, and if he didn’t, how much more grief would fill the giant if he found out.

Angel pondered out loud for a moment on what the giant had said. “He was dear to me? So I must have been dear to him. Why though? And in what way?” The girl began pacing the small width of the corridor; the giant just stared as she talked to herself.

“What happened to you Perdita?” The giant said out loud in disbelief. “Has your fire been put out?” The girl didn’t hear a word he said for she was far too deep in thought.

Angel turned to the giant suddenly, startling him slightly. “What is your name?”

“Thor.”

“Well Thor, I need you to take me to Loki.” The girl said with strange determination.

“I don’t think-“

“Please. I have to see him, don’t you see I have to. I don’t know him, yet he has always been there. I’ve seen what he has been through in my dreams Thor. I have lost everything I have in a single night because of him and all I have now is questions - which only he can answer because they are all questions are to do with him. In order to try and rebuild myself I have to know what part I play in his game.”

Thor sighed heavily. The girl was right.

“Very well.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Ah. So finally they let you come to me.” The warrior smirked in his glass cage, eyeing up the girl up hungrily as she stepped closer to the glass.

Angel was kicking herself for thinking this was a good idea, Of course, go and ask the figment of your imagination - who murdered your Vater and probably other people and who has been creeping around your shoulder, waiting for the moment where he could snatch you - about how he knows you and who he is. Alone. Of course by the way he is looking at you now; he will give you all the answers.

Angel wasn’t even sure what made her come to such a rash decision. She was desperate for answers, yes, but it was as if something inside her broke free: something familiar... yet very different. 

“It has been a long time Perdita.” The warrior stated as he stalked closer to the glass between him and the girl. “But at last, I finally have you here alone.”   
He laughed at Angel’s confused expression but then continued. “As you can see I have changed – but all for you, my angel. I have found that the less sentiment the better for pursuing what is ours... but nevertheless my feelings for you are quite unchanged.”

“Feelings?”

“Still playing ignorant? Tsk tsk.” The warrior’s smirk faded suddenly, into a hard expression of fierce fire, shooting directly at Angel. He slammed a pale hand hard on the glass causing the girl to flinch and startle backwards.   
” Still pretending that you have not done me any wrongs? Still feigning innocence? STILL acting as though you are free from me! ARE YOU!” The warrior roared with venom.

Trembling tears threatened to spill from Angel’s eyes, she wanted her Vater to run in and hold her- but she was alone now and needed to be strong. She would not cry or show any weakness but she had to tread carefully around this unpredictable man.

Angel took a deep breath in and grew six inches taller. “Listen.” The girl said with gentle fierceness. “I don’t know who you are. You are a stranger and I don’t know what you want with me but I want you to leave me alone.”

The warrior turned expressionless, but his eyes were surprisingly readable to Angel and were filled with hurt confusion. 

“You would cast me aside so easily, after everything we’ve been?” 

“I don’t know what we’ve been.” Angel was starting to get fed up with this man’s cryptic words. “I am not pretending anything. As much as I want to understand how you know me, I don’t, because I have no memory of you or anything. I don’t even know who I am.”

“No memory? Not even of me?”

“I sacrificed it... apparently.”

“No... You wouldn’t.” 

“Well that’s what Thor told me.” Angel stifled, losing her braveness as the warrior snarled at the mention of his brother.  
“Why would I want to sacrifice my memory?” The girl asked, only to be discouraged by the warrior’s angry glare.

“How should I know? You ran away in the first place.” He snarled.

“Ran away? Is this why you killed my Vater? Tormented me? Did I offend you?”

“Offended is an understatement. No, you did far worse. You tortured me, broke my heart. Who would have thought a little mortal like you could bring the god of mischief and lies to his knees; battered and broken from your deceit, but desperate for more.”

Angel wanted to leave but the warrior’s sinister, pained gaze pinned her down.

“As for that man, killing him was part of my plan and I apologize if he meant something to you, but it was for us. Anyway you have me now.” 

The girl turned her eyes to the floor. She had seen everything that this man had been through - it would have turned the warmest hearts to ice and it was all because of her. “I’m sorry Loki.”

“Look at me my angel.” He said gently. Hazel eyes met green-blue ones.

“Come closer.” The girl obeyed and stepped closer to the glass and placed her petite hand next to the warriors. He looked at her in a way no one ever did, pulling and twisting her heart in such a lovely way – she didn’t like it.

“Give yourself to me. Swear your loyalty and devotion. Beg on your knees for my mercy and I shall give it to you. I will give you everything; just accept that you belong to me.”

Angel found herself hypnotized by this murderer, which wasn’t part of her plan. This had all gone in a completely different direction to the one Angel expected.

“I still have no memory of you or anything about us.” Said Angel.

“You will.” The warrior’s eyes left hers and travelled down her body. “Oh Perdita. Your feet must be cold.”

Angel moved away from the glass and gazed at her numb feet. “My shoes fell off.” She remarked, earning a short laugh from the caged man and a flash of white teeth.

“You never cease to amuse me, Perdita My dear.” His smile faded, looking at the girl with serenity, no games this time.  
“It matters not if you cannot remember anything; you still are mine, no matter what fight or stubbornness you put up. We will be sealed together - just like you promised - and in return I will fulfil my promise to you.”

Angel now had no sense of what was happening, this man had flipped another card at her.

“What did you promise me?” The girl asked uneasily.

“The world of course.”

“You’re not making any-“

“Miss Amsel!” Angel turned to find a brunette female agent standing behind her.

“You are not authorized to be in here. I will escort you back to your quarters this instant.” The woman’s stern stare was enough to throw Angel out the room, taking one last look at her shadow giving her a mischievous smile. He was going to be annoying.

Once back in her grey bedroom, Angel flopped down on the bed.  
Something had changed within her, broken free. A sort of burning and annoying feeling that made her want to scream. The girl felt wild and free, though she was now confined in a grey room. Loki had made things jumbled up, but now she had pieces of the puzzle, all that was left to do was to put them together.

First of all, her name was Perdita – which was rather pretty and an actual name unlike Angel.

Second of all, she and Loki were lovers of some sort. And by lovers, had sex and got pregnant. Also, by what Loki said about being sealed together, she had promised to marry him, only to run away, have a miscarriage and break him.

Angel still didn’t remember any of this. Unfortunately there were many things still unanswered: why had she run away? It must have been something that caused her to want to sacrifice her memory. She might have been desperate, but for what?

Angel wondered if Loki knew about the miscarriage or even about her being pregnant, also did she ever know. She decided it would be best if she didn’t mention anything about it to him and hurt him further.

Why was she sympathetic towards this monster? He deserved to be hurt after what he did. He was heartless, but maybe not completely...no! He killed in cold-blood... but wouldn’t anyone if they had been what he had been through.

Angel’s thinking was interrupted by a knock on the door that soon after swung open.

“Miss Amsel, Director Fury wants to see you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Marvel


End file.
